I grew up the middle child of three in the New England countryside. Around the time I was eight a new family moved to the neighborhood putting our count of children within five miles at around seven. These new kids were used to going out trick-or-treating on Halloween and, of course, we wanted to go too.
The problem was. while we had neighbors. the houses were not exactly close together. So we spent about a month making costumes and our mother called around and made a list of neighbors who were okay with a visit. Then we all carpooled around a four mile radius and visited folks.
We'd be at each house around twenty minutes showing off our costumes and letting the adults chat. We got entire boxes of chocolates, homemade cookies, and one old couple with a maple syrup far even made homemade candied popcorn balls.
As I got older I spent more time in "town" which was about four miles away. It was a small town, but it actually HAD a main street that a kid could walk around on with their friends. Our friends who lived there suggested we come to their street for some REAL trick or treat experience. A lot of the kids spread put in smaller towns or out on farms would all come trick-or-treat on the same street so you had hundreds of kids.
We were so excited. We spent weeks making costumes as always, but with even more care. We were told we'd need entire garbage bags to contain the candy. And we did. We got lots of candy. But nobody really saw our costumes or visited. Candy-crazed kids rushed house to house and didn't even admire each others costumes. After we had to sort our commercial candy and throw out anything open or homemade for safety reasons.
In the years that follows we still dressed up and often went to that very busy street in town, but it was to visit with our friends and help hand out the candy. I never trick-or-treated there again.
Recently it occurred to me that how I feel about my childhood trick-or-treat experience has carried over to a lot of other things in my life. In my 20s and early 30s I traveled all over to conventions and did plenty of massive ones. I got to attend San Diego Comic Con as a working professional in the comic book industry. I did panels and vended at everything from Anime Expo and Wondercon to Phoneix Comic Con (now Phoenix Fan Fusion).
Now I'm in my early 40s and I don't even bother doing events outside Tucson. The events I'm at range in size, but for the most part it's about quality of the event vs size. I love getting to chat with fellow vendors and fans, see the kids who are my fans grow into adults as the years pass, and have a really special experience as a creator. It's much more inspiring than the huge commercial events and overall I get more long term fans, customers, and friends from it.
My experience online has been similar too. I don't have hundreds of people in my twitch streams and I rarely even pay attention to my follower count on any service. My kickstarters are usually between 100 and 300 backers. And I LOVE it this way. I get to be INSPIRED. I get to talk to the people who end up owning my paintings. I get to make magic in an honest, personal, and fulfilling way.
I don't want to be famous. I'll always go for the smaller, more genuine, personal experience. That's just who I am and what I find rewarding.
Trick-or-treating taught me that a giant bag of candy isn't all that amazing. After all, I can buy candy at the store anytime. But something homemade baked with love and someone who genuinely wants to talk to you? That's priceless.
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